Like The New Yorker, NPR is one of those things that you tell people you like in order to impress them and make them think you’re smarter than you really are. While I do occasionally listen to NPR, it’s typically because I accidentally hit the wrong buttons when trying to flip between KIIS FM and AMP Radio. On top of that, I’m not going to lie to you…I only have it programmed in my car so that anyone else who rides in it will think I have more brain cells than the minimum needed to analyze the lyrics of “Ridin’ Solo” (no offense to Jason Derulo- it’s really catchy!). The main reason I have a hard time listening to NPR? It’s not the stories (which are fairly interesting), but the way they are delivered. Dull and montone – they are almost enough to put me to sleep…on a Thursday afternoon…on the 405.
So, when I first watched this video put together by NPR’s team, I was shocked. Sure, the dancing is off, and the movement is horribly, horribly uncomfortable and awkward – but it made me want to tune in and give the station a second chance. Maybe they should start playing GaGa in between stories about the secret ways to order a Big Mac and the undoubtedly-crazy history of Yoga.
When Lady Gaga and Beyonce broke out the music video for “Telephone” in March, we were there to dissect the strange, yet oddly captivating mini-movie. Now, a new video has surfaced with soldiers in Afghanistan reenacting the video…with some hilarious results. Who said politics and pop culture can’t come together in harmony?
It’s the video everyone is talking about. How do I know this? Well, for an entire day, I got to listen computers at work all over the office erupt in “Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, Stop telephonin’ me.” This could be worse than the horrific “BANANAS – this shit is bananas – B. A. N. A. N. A. S.” audio sensory torture that was inflected on America several years ago.
Here’s my minute by minute breakdown of the Gaga epic “Telephone”:
:10 I like these fonts.
:38 Wow there are hot lesbians in prison. For some reason, this is clashing with the Queen Latifah “When you’re good to Mama” sequence from Chicago in my head.
:51 I guess shoulder pads will be the big trend of spring. Great.
1:02 Gaga is getting stripped. This fits more with the Latifah Chicago visions I have.
1:30 Cigarette sunglasses?! Holy shit! This is cutting edge!!
2:00 Is that a man? I mean, I know this is a women’s prison. But, is that a man?
2:11 The next time you go to prison, make sure your phone is Virgin Mobile. Otherwise, you might have a problem getting through security.
2:29 You didn’t know that Chanel sunglasses are meant to accompany hair cans and leather studs? You must not have gotten the April issue of InStyle yet.
3:10 While she may look like a tranny, this is the most human I’ve seen Lady Gaga look in a music video ever.
3:34 I know California is having major budget problems with prisons, but did they really have to slash the funds for prison uniforms?
4:09 Potential Halloween 2010 costume #1. Noted.
4:16 Virgin Mobile: the cell phone of choice for convicted rapists, murderers, and thiefs.
4:45 Do you think that car comes in other shades of yellow and pink?
5:15 This whole thing totally makes sense now. Why didn’t they just call it Thelma & Louise 2?
5:46 Polaroid is basically a dying brand yet it can pay for product placement? Sounds like they’ve taken a cue from GM’s strategy.
6:08 The only diners I go to have drunk kids at 2:00AM. Is this what happens in them during the day time?
6:39 Let’s make a sandwich? How about let’s eat a sandwich?
6:50 This sequence is identical to “Work This Out” from High School Musical 2. Except that Zac Efron had more makeup on, and this version is on crack cocaine.
7:09 Note to self: The next time I try to kill someone, make sure to look for “Poison” and not “Arsenic.” No wonder I had trouble finding it at Whole Foods.
7:42 When did this become a PSA about America’s obesity epidemic?
8:15 What’s more American than dead people over waffles and fries in a desert diner?
8:58 The outfits finally make sense – they’re headed to a Mormon compound!
Smogger 