We Only Report the News…

Like The New Yorker, NPR is one of those things that you tell people you like in order to impress them and make them think you’re smarter than you really are. While I do occasionally listen to NPR, it’s typically because I accidentally hit the wrong buttons when trying to flip between KIIS FM and AMP Radio. On top of that, I’m not going to lie to you…I only have it programmed in my car so that anyone else who rides in it will think I have more brain cells than the minimum needed to analyze the lyrics of “Ridin’ Solo” (no offense to Jason Derulo- it’s really catchy!). The main reason I have a hard time listening to NPR? It’s not the stories (which are fairly interesting), but the way they are delivered. Dull and montone – they are almost enough to put me to sleep…on a Thursday afternoon…on the 405.

So, when I first watched this video put together by NPR’s team, I was shocked. Sure, the dancing is off, and the movement is horribly, horribly uncomfortable and awkward – but it made me want to tune in and give the station a second chance. Maybe they should start playing GaGa in between stories about the secret ways to order a Big Mac and the undoubtedly-crazy history of Yoga.

-MK

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The Hills is Practically Educational Programming

I know you probably can’t wait until tomorrow’s new episode of The Hills, so in the meantime, check out this video of Heidi Montag’s interview with Ryan Seacrest from his KISS FM radio show last month. Among the things we discover about Heidi:

-she doesn’t know the size of her new breasts
-she and Spencer plan to move to Latin America
-she had a complex about her ears
-she can’t run because of the size of her boobs
-she designs her own clothing
-she thinks she has a “great” body

Who said reality TV lacks all educational value?

-MK

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A Walking Music Cliché? We’ll Let Pandora Be the Judge of That.

Pandora has always been a great source of new music, something to throw on the background while you work… and now, a judge of your uniqueness as a human being! It occurred to me while I was listening to my Julian Casablancas station that Pandora was going to put on a song that “someone like me” – aka someone who loves loves loves Julian Casablancas – would listen to. I’m being categorized! And what comes on after my Julian song? Phoenix! Well, guess what, Pandora? I don’t LIKE Phoenix that much. (The third song was The Strokes… too easy, Pandora.)

via playle

So there you go, hipsters. Pandora is here to judge your originality, or pretty much your worth as a human being. I dare you to take the Pandora Judgment Test for yourself, see how you fare. I tested out a few artists to see what Pandora thought I would want to hear next in the “music genome project” —

+ Animal Collective – “Summertime Clothes”
>> Grizzly Bear –  “Two Weeks” (we skip, as MM doesn’t enjoy the G.B.)
>> Dr. Dog – “Heart It Races” (quality is kicked up significantly here. cheers, Pandora)
>>Le Loup – “Le Loup” (never heard of these people, but okay, i’m feeling this. check them out)
>> Animal Collective –  “Someday I’ll Grow To Be As Tall As the Giant” (and we come full circle)

+ Neutral Milk Hotel – “The King of Carrot Flowers Pt. I”
>> The White Stripes – “We’re Going to Be Friends” (enjoy the White Stripes… but I hate you for picking this song, Pandora)
>> Iron and Wine – “Love and Some Verses” (i’m dying here)

+ Barry Manilow – “Mandy”
>> Neil Diamond – “Sweet Caroline” (oh, FUCK YEAH!)
>> The Bee Gees – “How Deep Is Your Love?” (anddddddd we’re done.)

-MM

Contact the author at mmthesmogger@gmail.com.

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