Informal Affairs

Over the weekend, Deadspin posted one of the most incredible accounts of a sorority formal I’ve ever read. Keep in mind, I’ve witnessed a lot of these drunk, messy functions in person and have lived to retell the stories. However, even the most wild formal I ever attended while at Northwestern pales in comparison to this account (and I’m talking about the infamous Delta Gamma Fall Formal of ’06 – which climaxed with one sister actually vomiting on the chapter’s national advisor).

Sloppy form, sorostitutes. via Deadspin

So, what exactly took place at Miami University’s Pi Phi Spring Formal? Hmm, let’s see if I can try listing it all:

  • police pulled over the three buses transporting the students, when the students were found urinating on the side of the road (on the way to formal)
  • 37 cases of Natty Light were found inside the buses
  • the chapter president was too drunk to speak at the formal
  • two couples had sex (one in the Beach House, one in a storage closet)
  • a drunk date flipped over the entire appetizer table
  • a group of men threw their own feces all over the outside of the building
  • two dates went skinny dipping in the lake
  • students took the decorative table settings (glass vases) and threw them off the balcony
  • students vomited everywhere on the premises
  • girls broke the toilets and were found urinating in the sinks
  • the venue’s concrete statue of a lion was decapitated
  • two students were left behind by the buses
  • thirteen calls were made after the event regarding lost items

I would give anything to have witnessed this in person. via Deadspin

I think that’s a decent summary, but I’m sure I left a few things out. When you read the event venue‘s full letter about the sorority circus show, it sounds straight out of an episode of True Blood, with possessed townspeople taking place in a mass orgy. The chapter’s national office has suspended the chapter for a year, noting that they are working to “change the culture” of the chapter. Ha. I don’t think anything short of a full-fledged exorcism will change that sorority’s “culture”…or lack thereof. If nothing else, it sounds like the seniors in this sorority had quite a sendoff to cap off their college careers. As much as I want to judge them, I can’t lie that I kind of wish I had been there for it…

-MK

Contact the author at mksmogger@gmail.com.

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