The Reveal of Gossip Girl

If there’s one thing we know, it’s that CW shows can be here today, gone tomorrow. They start on such a high, but as quality hits rock bottom, viewers demand that Josh Schwartz put something else on the network ASAP.

With this in mind, I thought it’d be a good idea to start surmising – LOST-style – if GOSSIP GIRL will ever reveal the face of its ominous narrator, the author of the “Gossip Girl” blog. Here are a few characters that could be the face behind the voice.

KRISTEN BELL

via Celebrity Wonder

In real life, Kristen provides the voice behind the fictional Gossip Girl character. While she is adorable and played one of the best high school characters ever in VERONICA MARS, she might be a few years and a few Dax Shepards away from being able to play 18 these days.

BLAIR WALDORF (AKA LEIGHTON MEESTER)

via the CW

It’s probably unlikely that Blair would be the voice of Gossip Girl, as she has often been the victim in the blogger’s posts — but I wouldn’t put it past the CW to try to force this little twist into the series at last minute. She’s always been a manipulator, so it might make sense that all the drama in the show was her doing. A long shot, but who knows.

GEORGINA SPARKS (AKA MICHELLE TRATCHENBERG)

via the CW

Georgina was a great villain-turned-uber Christian that the writers threw into the series here and there. But with her side project MERCY probably going the way of the dinosaurs any day now, Georgina may be back on the network that loves to hate her. Even more evil than Blair most of the time, it wouldn’t be too much of a surprise if Georgina was behind the life-ruiner that is the Gossip Girl’s blog. Although the writers would have to figure out a way to explain how she was blogging about high school drama while she was away in rehab.

ERIC VAN DER WOODSEN (AKA CONNOR PAOLO)

via the CW

What if Gossip Girl… was a Gossip Boy? Eric’s a tragically under-used character on the show, and why couldn’t it be that Serena’s gay little bro is the one behind all the games? It’d be a great payback for all the homophobia from his mother, Jenny walking all over him, and being pretty much ignored in general. He did try to kill himself in first season — maybe he chose to use his second chance at life to torture others.

DOROTA (AKA ZUZANNA SZADKOWSKI)

via the CW

She hears all, she sees all. Who else would be there to see Chuck and Blair in flagrate delicto? (Hint: it’s always the maid.)

-MM

Contact the author at mmthesmogger@gmail.com.

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