Banning Self-Enlightenment on the JERSEY SHORE

via InTouch

JERSEY SHORE season 1 was perfection in that it was little more than a documentary on the role of Jersey trash in America today. But now the Shoremates have agents, get followed by the paparazzi, pimp themselves on talk shows… but worst of all — they’ve had the opportunity to see how the rest of the world lives.

This could go one of two ways. Snooki and Co. may be so deep in their Jersey-ness that no amount of breathable cotton or well-spoken etiquette could infiltrate their tans. Or they will become part of the upper echelon, sitting front row at the Lakers games with Leo and strolling the red carpet at the Met Costume Institute Gala as if they’d never even heard of Poughkeepsie.

God forbid if the latter were to happen. Because once the Shoremates reach their full self-enlightenment, they will only be able to play caricatures of their former guido selves, all the while understanding the joke of it all. Any time a cast member would make a dumb comment, it would result in a smirk or an overplayed cock of the head instead of the total sincerity that made the first season such perfection. All we viewers would be left with is an overwrought sitcom, with acteurs playing the roles of jesters for their monkey audience.

I dare say there is nothing we can do to prevent this tragedy from happening, but pray. And maybe set out an extra dish of pickles as an offering.

-MM

Contact the author at mmthesmogger@gmail.com.

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