Captain America isn’t just another superhero. He’s AMERICA’S superhero, and Marvel can’t just pick any ol’ dude off the street to play the national hero in their latest big screen comic adaptation. But apparently that’s what Marvel has decided they’re going to do. Here’s who the studio is rumored to be looking at for the role. Let’s do some judging, shall we? —
Channing Tatum: Too hot (did I just say that?) Not enough squeaky clean. And shouldn’t Captain America be older?
Ryan Phillippe: Too disturbed by the way he talks while pursing his lips. I don’t know if I can ever shake the incestuous overtones from CRUEL INTENTIONS. Also, he made our Reese-y cry. She’s a National Treasure.
Chris Evans: Still has that dipshit air about him. Seems more like the frat boy that throws raw meat against the wall than a national protector.
Sebastian Stan: Aka the creep from GOSSIP GIRL (see: picture). If nouveau Captain America cooks meth in his basement and whispers nursery rhymes in alleyways, then Sebastian is our man.
Mike Vogel: But really, Marvel– you’re fucking with us.
Share your thoughts below… and feel free to add your own choice for Captain America. Automatic point for knowing who Captain America is, since the Marvel casting department didn’t even take the time to work that one out.
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