I feel filthy. I mean disgusting. Dirtier than the New York Governor’s office.
I just spent 15 minutes on Chat Roulette. What’s Chat Roulette? Well, do you remember AOL chat rooms back in the dial-up days of 1995? Imagine being able to see all those creepy pedophiles who asked you for A/S/L in person. That’s kind of what it’s like. However, if you venture into the unknown and risk letting your webcam connect to a random stranger, you really can learn a lot about America.
What did I discover during my 15 minutes on the Internet’s version of skid row?
- When they are anonymous, Americans love nothing more than shouting random, nonsensical ethnic slurs to people who have no relation to those words
- Frat guys are drunk 24 hours a day, even at 3:20PM on a Tuesday
- Asian people seem to think the internet is a good place to make friends
- Closeups of vaginas and penises seem to be a form of online art
- If you meet someone worth talking to for more than 1 minute, internet etiquette suggests the next logical thing to do is to begin masturbating
Seriously, if Jersey Shore hasn’t already made you believe that American culture is going down the toilet, then this is that last, dirty flush.
However, with all that being said, if you have nothing to do tonight then grab a bottle of wine and find some wireless. Within a few minutes, you too will be able to scream about dildos and periods on your webcam. And, in the offchance that you connect to someone you know, it’s nothing to worry about. You’ll both will be way too ashamed to admit you were even on the site in the first place.
Contact the author at firstname.lastname@example.org.